All about CBT- my first impressions.

First impressions of CBT!

Hi all, I started CBT at the beginning of January- more on the specifics of this soon- and thought I would make a little post about what CBT is and how it’s working for me so far. A little review of cognitive behavioural therapy if you will.

I’m a bit worried that I may come across as condescending in this, if you already know all this I’m sorry for over simplifying it; it’s just that when I met the therapist, she said “So, what do you know about CBT?” and I realised I had absolutely no response and felt like a lemon. If you have experienced CBT differently to this, please let me know how it is for you if you’re comfortable doing so!

What is CBT?

CBT- or cognitive behavioural therapy- is a type of ‘talking therapy’ which involves you and the therapist focusing on what is happening now rather than revisiting things that have happened in the past. It is based on the idea that your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and actions are all interlinked and all affect each other. You can thus take situations that are troubling you and think about what you were thinking, how that thought made you feel emotionally, how it made your body feel physically and then about what you did as a result. This allows you to deconstruct and manage the situations differently in the future. The aim is to change the way you think and behave by applying the techniques you learn in your sessions to your life. It’s a pretty big deal if I’m honest and it requires a lot lot of commitment.

Do I like it so far?

CBT is very different from therapy I’ve previously had. When I had counselling to deal with ‘low mood’, the discussion focused almost entirely on my childhood, family situation, experience at school etc. This was really helpful for me at the time; seeing how lots of tiny experiences can collectively and over time have a big impact on your mental wellbeing was fundamental in my having a better understanding of myself and of other people around me. It taught me to address emotions as they come to me, to express my anger and to better understand why I may be feeling down when it does happen. Nonetheless, I finished those sessions without any techniques in place to handle my mental health in the long term- looking back, it felt almost like I’d been stripped bare and was left even more exposed to emotional vulnerability than before. The depression also felt much more pressing and difficult at the time than my anxiety, feeling overwhelmingly shit for the majority of every day life was much more difficult to cope with than sudden outbursts of hysterical anxiety in my personal experience. All I wanted was not to feel so lethargic, isolated and sad and as a result we brushed the anxiety under the rug- I only remember it coming up in the sessions a couple of times.

In this sense, I think the way CBT focuses on the ‘here and now’ is going to be really important for me coping with my funny little brain in every day life. I can’t imagine how it works if you’ve had a big trauma or an obvious point where your struggles with mental health began as that’s not the approach we’re taking. Nonetheless, if you’re finding difficulties cropping up in every day life that make it hard to manage simple tasks I would definitely recommend CBT.

I must say though; this type of therapy is exhausting. I’m right at the beginning of the process but so far paying so much attention to difficult situations has felt quite distressing and I have found myself getting really anxious in the process of exposing and tackling behaviours that have become a comfort to me. Regular talking therapy used to feel incredibly cathartic- I would go in and get lots off my chest, have a big cry and leave feeling lighter. I’ve left CBT sessions feeling tired, hungry when I’ve only just eaten and a little bit on edge.

I don’t actually mind this though; it’s almost like you can feel your brain re wiring and adjusting to a new way of thinking and so it’s understandable that you’re zonked afterwards. It makes you feel different in a good way. It’s also a brilliant excuse to take the rest of the day easy and do lots of lovely self care to recuperate.

It feels like it will be quick in comparison to other types of counselling- when I was talking about my past it felt like it would take months and months to dredge up and focus in on all the aspects of my childhood that were impacting my brain at that point, almost like there were infinite layers of emotional distress to address. Anything and everything could have impacted me more than I knew and thus needed discussing. In CBT however, one session feels like it’s really doing something, I have 8 left to go and I can comprehend that I might make real progress and even abandon some of my unhealthy behaviours in that time. This is because rather than running through something that happened on your sixth birthday and trying to emotionally process that, you’re talking about what you were thinking, feeling and doing yesterday on your walk to the bus stop which feels more relevant and manageable.

 It’s a bit tricky to get across what I mean here but my main point is that all types of therapy have their pros and cons and I would say so far (and I really am right at the start), I have a really good feeling about CBT.

I hope this was informative, do let me know your experience with this type of therapy if you have any! Much love and as usual please feel free to email me if you’re in need of any support,

Martha xxx

EMAIL: marthatalksmental@gmail.com

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